It's Everyone's Loss

The title song to the TV show (and movie) MASH tells us that "suicide is painless". I never thought much about it until last week when I found out that a former childhood friend and Facebook friend had taken his life. Charlie was a talented musician and and studio engineer. The musical world is used to its rising stars burning out, but rarely like this.

You see, Charlie was more than a musician. He had friends. He had parents. He had a fiance. So many people touched by one or as the poet wrote, no man is an island. Each of these suffers today because of their loss. A sister wrote me to say that no one understands why except it wasn't and one big thing, only little things that added up to influence this choice.

Charlie's death touched me as well. We weren't close. In fact, I had just found him on Facebook back in the Fall. He shared the story of his life, a meandering tale of success and loss. He was like many of us, following his path where it led him. I found out by logging onto his Facebook page and seeing the notes from a female admirer. I thought to myself it was hardly appropriate, until I got further down the conversation and saw that this was written in memorial.

I struggled with this for several days, and so today, I am writing about my feelings. Of all the things that I have learned from Charlie's death, the most poinient lesson, is that suicide is not painless and my life was more for knowing him and somehow less for the loss.

Question Two

What effect has the practice of ministry had on your understanding of humanity and the need for divine grace? Wow. I wish I had read the first question in light of the second one! However, the two are very much tied together in very inseparable ways. This unfortunately will not suffice with the Board of Ordained Ministry, so I had better give it the old college try.

One can only speculate on the ways which God works in and through us. There are those unexplainable events in our lives which seem to be either coincidence or divine intervention. The check arrives at the time we need it, turning left would have resulted in an accident, or the mysterious disappearance of a fatal disease causes us to place the thanks in God's hands. We should do this for as the Scripture tells us... all good things come from God.

The much less mysterious and more measurable cause and effect comes when we act as agents for the Divine. As such we can become imitators of God or work against the Kingdom either overtly or passively. An example of this would be the current state of affairs with the National Health Care Plan. Many people in this debate have used the name of God to promote their preference. If our own preference is to protect our own wallets or prevent the "undeserving" to receive medical treatment, or because we don't like a particular political party, I would argue that God's interests of the care for humanity is being neglected. (That is if a viable plan were available) On the other hand, there are some people who argue for the care of our neighbor out of obligation to the greatest commandment which says we are to love. (Ok that is a biased example)

I would say that humanity, in light of my practice of ministry is much in need of God's grace. I says this because we all lack the ability to make unbiased Kingdom judgments. The church has as one author accuses become judgmental, irrelevant, and homophobic. There are people outside the Church in need of communities of faith, which we would exclude. Both sides need God's grace.

In the broadest possible terms... We are all deficient in one way or another. Humanity, whether expressed in terms of individuals or bureaucracies, need the kind of help that only God can provide. How do we do this? I believe it is only through the practice of ministry in light of that great commandment. If we love God and our neighbor, we will be less likely to base decisions on selfish bents.

Ok... I need to work on these first two questions. You may see them again.

Question 1

So today I begin to reflect upon the historic questions which are required of United Methodist Clergy preparing for ordination. Although I am not required to begin for a few months, I like to approach tasks like this in means that are sometimes "outside the box" I did the first set of questions for provisional elder status as a set of sermons before writing them as papers. This set, I am looking at as topics for my blog.

The first question is under the general heading of Theology and is: How has the practice of ministry affected your experience and understanding of God? (para 335.a.1)

First I would have to reflect upon what I perceive to be the practice of ministry. Within the scope of my work as a pastor, that would cover much for we minister in worship and liturgy, in the sacraments, in exposition of the Word, and of course in speaking and praying with those in our charge. Of course there is visitation and hospital visits and all of the other tasks. It is in those areas (and others) that we touch the lives of others and are touched by them as well.

The second part is "how has this practice affected my experience with God". My experience with God has been greatly affected by my interaction with those within my charge. I have in many ways continued the spiritual journey which began in seminary. I have been challenged in what I believe and say, and at the same time have challenged myself in what it is that I believe. No longer do I feel compelled to regurgitate only what I have read and heard, but in a real credal sense have been hammering out my relationship to God and others.

Ministry among others of various beliefs causes us to adapt and at the same time stand our ground. Pick your battles, a former District Superintendent once said. Actually what he said was "Is that the cross you want to be hung upon"?

I am learning that within ministry God calls all kinds of people, conservative and liberal... out spoken and quietly reserved. Those who are pro choice and those who are not. Yet all need to be affirmed that God loves them. That applies across the board in every imaginable topic. In reflection, it makes one realize that God's love and scope in seemingly limitless. That word grace is much more than we give it credit.

I am also seeing through the eyes of a sinner and realizing that if I am forgiven and loved, then God loves and forgives "those people" as well. My sin is no better nor worse than anyone else's. Otherwise, God's mercy and grace is something we earn or work for, and that is simply not the case.

I am experiencing God in new ways and see God in light of those who God sent Jesus to save. I am seeing and experiencing God in new ways with the help of the Holy Spirit. And realizing that the Kingdom of God is a much nearer and larger place than we could possibly know.

And so, I am left with affirming the popular phrase which is sometimes seen in t-shirts and greeting cards... Be patient. God ain't done with me yet.

Credo

Earlier today I was privileged to be a part of a theological discussion about the line of the creed that says that Jesus descended to the dead. The writer said that she would remain silent during that part of the creed. This led to several points as to where Jesus truly was during the two days between the cross and the resurrection.

What I found compelling wasn't the various opinions about the where-abouts of the savior. What was interesting was that one could leave out a point of the creed and while being integral to their personal theology, not disrupt the worship of God. In this, the person was stating "This is what I believe" or "I trust this to be true".

When we recite a creed in worship, (my tradition seems to favor the Apostle's Creed) we are not affirming what we believe as individuals (although that is happening as well) but we are saying that these beliefs are important to our identity as Christians. They represent ancient scholarship which ties us directly to our fore bearers. They also reflect an ancient war against gnostic teachings which if we are not careful, can fall into very easily.

Not too long ago, I was called out as sacrilegious. My statement was not where Jesus was during the pre-resurrection time, but where we shall be when we die. Along with Bishop NT Wright, I affirm that there is more about the new heavens and earth than about a future heavenly home in the Scripture. A lady in the back of the class uttered that word "sacrilegious".

While I admit that the cynic in me causes me to ask these controversial questions sometimes, I will say that I am cautious about how I revere God and equally so when I question historical theological stances. For I am careful not to add the title of heretic to the aforementioned moniker.

Thus when I recite the creeds I say them in completion, and know I can trust what they say. The council of Nicea left little wiggle room in it's statement of "We Believe" or Credo. I am unworthy to stand on their shoulders, so at this point I will trust their scholarship.

It is Finished

These words of Jesus are perhaps the most important, and least quoted of the Scriptures. In them, the work of creation is made complete. Jesus echoes the words of the Father who on the sixth day said that all was good before He rested. In six days, God created us and all that was needed to sustain us physically. Now the lifeless body of the Son hangs on a cross to provide us spiritual and eternal sustenance.

After God created the world, He faced the heartbreak of expelling his favorite creation from the garden. He witnessed the first murder. He saw our pride and arrogance. Yet God fed us and clothed us. Led us from captivity in Egypt and never abandoned us in captivity in Babylon. God gave us prophets, priests, kings and judges. Yet it was only on the cross that we were reconciled. It was in an empty tomb that his promise was confirmed.

It was in this moment on the cross that we were restored to the relationship with God which He sought from the beginning. That is the meaning of "It is finished". The grand design of God to offer us salvation was made complete and creation was restored. Heaven and earth intersected once more in a way that we could reach beyond the veil and know our God. What was started in the garden, was completed on the cross and affirmed on the third day by the resurrected Savior.

May our Easter be rich and draw us ever nearer to God! AMEN

Us Versus Them

Recently, a popular book called Unchurched opened the dialogue between the "church" and those who are outside of the church. The charges leveled are that the church has become irrevelant, judgmental, and homophobic. I think that if we were to boil this down to the root problem it is that we have an us versus them attitude. There are those who wish to transform the church and those who wish for it to always remain the same. This operates at every level, whether social, political, and theological.
Several months ago, some folks became defensive about their pastor (me). The feeling was that I am just too liberal. At the time, I was fresh out of seminary and may have given them some ammunition to support that belief. Recently another family has accused me of being too moderate (the middle road). I hope and pray that they are accurate in their assessment.
There is a fear that if "they" come into "our" church, "we" will have to compromise our convictions. See how they pronouns divide? The five hundred pound gorilla in the room is versus. Yet, the question arises of why we are the church. Is it to surround ourselves with people who are just like us, or to transform the world into the Kingdom of God which will contain all kinds of people... male/female, Jew/Greek, slave/free.
Could that also include the things that are not so obvious? Could the local church be a place where liberal and conservative can worship together? White and minority? How about heterosexual and homosexual? Isn't that the risk we take as Christians, that when we are united into the Kingdom, we will be aligned with people not like "us"? Could we not be a church which unites (and) rather than a church that divides (or).
I am not worried about other's perceptions as much as how those who need to hear that there is a God who loves them, but cannot over the shouts of the judgmental. How many do we consign to Hell by condemning them due to a lifestyle or a political/sociological idiology? In other words, if one is told that they are going to Hell, could it not be a self fulfilling prophesy? Are we not responsible at that point for the choice they make? Is it not like the cancer patient who upon hearing their diagnosis, can hear nothing after the word cancer?

Just pondering...

Favorite Sin

Murder, gluttony, avarice, divorce, or lust... everyone has their own favorite sin. That is not to say that they favor the practice either in their life or around them. It is merely that something has become their soapbox. Now, I do not wish to demean anyone, nor do I wish to make light serious issues whether social or those we label as sin. I am only saying that we have our own passions and callings to ministry in God's Kingdom.

The other day, I was confronted by a letter condemning my own moderate stance on two controversial subjects in the church and world today. These are divisive issues and both sides make arguments which I feel little qualified to debate. Maybe that is a cop out and maybe it points to where I stand theologically. I would rather see it as a defining characteristic of my own ministry.

In Jesus' own ministry among people on this earth, he was quick to point out the flaws in the sinful people he ran into. The woman at the well is a perfect example of one who made several choices which were frowned upon. Yet Jesus ministered to her and His only admonition was to go and sin no more. Outside of the "religeous" people of His day and those who neglected the poor, this was as harsh as our Savior spoke.

In my ministry in the church I deal with hurting people who carry the burden of choices made and often never find that place where they can forgive themselves. By the same token, they believe that God holds some judgment for them as well. I find it difficult to believe that there are so many unparodable sins! Do the Scriptures not say that if we repent, God is faithful to forgive and save? Does God reserve punishment for some?

I wonder if by condemning the sin, we injure the sinner and in particular the one who is close to healing. Can those who need to hear the still small voice of God understand it over the shouts of His people? How can we reserve judgment when God says the it is His?

Until such time that I find myself in another place in my heart and ministry, I will concentrate on helping those who hurt to help them find healing and wholeness. I will speak softly and remember that I serve a Lord who came not to condemn the world, but through Him the world might be saved.

Pilgrimage

Recently, I taught a Wednesday series on ancient spiritual disciplines using (dare I say),
a book by Brian McClaren (My apologies to my academic friends). One night we discussed
fasting, another night I spoke on the table. The hardest topic to bring meaning to 20th century protestants living in rural East Tennessee was pilgrimage.

I touched on the classic ideas of Christian pilgrimage to the Holy Land or Vatican, Islamic Hajj, and even internal pilgrimage such as silent meditative prayer or using a labyrinth. I shared about my experience in a monastery and that a trip to Taize is on my bucket list. All that evening I got blank stares. Finally, at the end of the evening I polled the people about what kind of pilgrimage they would go on. I found that if it were entertaining then they would go. A play at the Cumberland Playhouse was good. "We have taken a trip to the Fields of the Woods" said another. I sighed. Doesn't anyone understand the need to disrupt life so that we can hear the voice of God?

Since my seminary experience, I have been on a spiritual pilgrimage, listening for God and setting aside my old theological baggage as much as possible to become an empty vessel for God to fill. I try to read authors which don't fit the mold of mid 20th century Bible belt America. Authors like Brennan Manning, Shane Claiborne, and NT Wright sit on my shelf. I am becoming someone which I wasn't at the beginning of the journey and I am learning a lot about God's grace and love.

While I romanticize my own spiritual discipleship, I should also remember that we are all pilrims on a journey. We are being molded and reshaped into the Christian followers of Christ that we were intended to become. Preordained? Perhaps, but I prefer to think about it in Wesleyan terms of achieving that which we lost in the fall... the original blueprint of humanity, designed in God's image. Along the way, I am sure to take some side roads, get lost (figuratively speaking) and probably get turned around. But with God as my guide, walking in the footsteps of the savior, with the Holy Spirit as my roadmap... I'll get there someday.

Glossolalia

I admit that although I consider myself pretty much a middle of the road kind of theologian, I read articles and books from all over the spectrum. I also subscribe to some interesting emails. Most of these, I should probably remove myself from. After all, I have not gotten a single joke or illustration from a couple of sources in the past couple of years.

One such subscription is from the Episcopal bishop and author, John Shelby Spong. Known for his cotroversial beliefs and questionable remarks about orthodox Christian faith (especially damaging are his teachings on the creeds). This week, Bishop Spong answered a query about speaking in tongues. I admit that I am somewhat skeptical about the subject, although not dismissive. Bishop Spong was less that gentile in his response, stating that there is a fine line between religious expression and mental illness.

How fine exactly is that line? Do preacher's not seek inspiration from the Holy Spirit? Are there not Christian apologeticists who claim to speak for God? We rarely question those examples unless they stray too far from traditional beliefs of the faith. What of the utterings of the mystics who deny themselves so that they may have a vision from God? Are we qualified to dismiss them as lunatics? How then can we say that glossolalia is for some an expression of mental illness?

My own opinion is still out on this, but I will say this. If that is your belief, there is a church for you! If it is not there are several that do not practice tongues as their prayer gift. Either way, it is important to be a part of a faith community. There is a quote that we hear about the church being a hospital for the sick. Who is to say that it is not a psych ward for we who are in need of spiritual and mental healing as well?

Just saying

Liberal or Conservative

When I came into my current charge, this was one of the questions people had for me. Oh they didn't articulate it as such, but the questions remained, where does Scott fall on the issues? How did he vote in the previous election? What was his agenda for the church?
To answer that is to tell the story of where I have been, not only in my childhood as a slightly overweight, largely immature young person who was often the target of bullies and name calling. This time of my life has had a profound impact on how I view people today. Yet it was only after many years of growth that I realize how this had formed me.
When I was called into the minsitry, I wanted to choose the best possible education I could get. I knew I didn't want to attend a theologically conservative seminary. That was who I already was. A conservative on the verge of fundamentalism. A bully and name caller. I wanted to learn and understand the "other side" so that I might be a part of the larger conversations that are a part of our religious community today.
I chose a prestigeuos seminary with far liberal leanings. My first mentor was the schools only "open" gay professor. I found his teaching sound and his ministry to me and my peers was loving and compassionate. Could I be wrong about the homosexual community? Yes, and well no. But that is a subject for another blog entry.
What seminary did was to bring me to a place where I could speak about the issues without screaming about them (as NT Wright points out that Christians do today). I fall somewhere between the issues where I can speak from experience and compassion as well as the Scriptural record. I see the faces of the gay classmates who desparately feel the call to ministry while feeling the rejection of denominations which don't know how to fit them in and I know what the Scriptures say about that issue.
Recently the question came to me, is God a liberal? I thought for a minute. "Yes. I believe God can indeed be considered that. Look at how he pours out his love and mercy on all people. When it really mattered, God gave all that He had for us and our salvation. Yes I believe God is a liberal... But God also has expectations and rules... that must mean that He is conservative as well." See how hard it is to put God in a box with a lable on it?

Welcome to my Blog

In seminary, we studied the teachings of the Bible, the Church, and the history of Christian thought. One of the concepts which stuck with me was what was called the Via-Media (Latin for the Middle Way) or what Bishop Scott Jones calls the extreme center. This extreme center is a counter to the far left (liberal) and far right (conservative).
What appealed to me in this line of thought was that Jesus could be understood as neither the condemner in His teachings or as the enabler which we tend to use Him for today. Jesus stands in the middle way and calls all to hear His teaching. In that way, we can see Him as both present catylst for transformation and future savior of humanity.
This blog is a place for me to post my thoughts, exploring theologies and readings which seem to confound many who seek to use Jesus (and Paul) to shape the Kingdom in their own image. That said, I too will be guilty of creating God in my own image. We can only understand God through our own limited understanding.
I pray that if I put forth something that could be understood as heresy, blasphemy, or just bad theology you will forgive me. I am a pilgrim on a journey. Walk with me as I seek understanding and wisdom.